Spring Training
by hijipine
Summary: Iruka's annoyed with Kakashi's new training technique.  Mild Kakashi/Iruka.


**Spring Training**

Iruka blinked in the bright April sunlight. He could hear the bustle and clamor of the marketplace two streets over, the air smelled sweet and new, and the road was cool and pleasantly dry beneath his back…

… Wait.

_Why am I lying in the street?_

He rubbed a sore spot on the back of his head and pushed himself up on an elbow, squinting at the quiet street around him, only to fall back again with a yelp as a masked face, one visible eye opened comically wide, suddenly inserted itself into his field of vision.

"What the hell!"

"Sorry." The eye closed and curved into a cheerful arc as footsteps pounded up the street. "My mistake."

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto landed on his knees at Iruka's side, eyes wide. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Iruka replied, gingerly sitting up again. He belatedly identified the other shinobi crouched beside him as Hatake Kakashi. What was the infamous Copy-Nin doing, leaning over him like that? "But will someone tell me what just happened?"

Hatake-san rubbed the back of his head, still smiling – Iruka assumed – under his mask. "You see, I was walking down the road of life-"

In Iruka's private opinion Hatake-san was brilliant, but also rude, lazy, and possessed of an annoying knack for getting on Iruka's nerves. Like now. "And decided to assault me for some reason?"

"Kakashi-sensei kissed you," Naruto blurted.

"You kissed me?" Iruka stared at Hatake-san. "You _kissed _me?"

"Well, it's such a fine spring day-"

"You KISSED me?" He felt his lip; when he looked down, his fingers were red. "You made me bleed!"

"Maa, maa, sensei. Don't make such a fuss-"

"Do you normally _assault _people with kisses?"

"Only occasionally." Hatake-san's eye curved in an impossible arc. "You should be honored." He gave Iruka a vague wave and stood. "Yo." He began to drift away.

Iruka saw red. "You bastard!" He struggled to his feet and clenched his fists. "I've got a bloody lip and a lump on the back of my head thanks to your 'kiss'!"

Hatake-san paused and turned to face Iruka again. "Perhaps you didn't do it right." He crossed his arms, his visible eye now open and full of amusement.

Iruka could have killed the smug bastard. "You're criticizing _my _technique? I wasn't the one doing the kissing! I was just walking along the street and you assaulted my lips! Besides, hokage knows where your mouth has been!"

"I'm wearing a mask," Hatake-san pointed out. "I'd hardly say hygiene is an issue. By the way, do you know how cute you are when you get red like that, sensei?"

Struggling to regain his composure, Iruka replied through clenched teeth. "Don't be a complete ass. Just answer one question for me. Why?"

"Well, I imagine that as your blood pressure climbs, more blood is routed toward the surface of your skin, resulting in an increase in your blush response—"

"NOT WHY I GOT RED!" Out of the corner of his eye, Iruka could see Naruto inching away. "You! Stay put!" Naruto froze, and Iruka turned back to Hatake-san. "_Why did you assault me?_"

"He kissed you—"

"I kissed you—"

"WHY DID YOU KISS ME?" Iruka shouted over Naruto's and Hatake-san's attempts to clarify.

"Why does anyone kiss anyone?" Hatake-san asked with a contemplative air.

"No philosophy." Iruka could feel killing intent oozing from his pores. "No commentaries on affectionate social interactions. Just explain your actions! _Why did you kiss me_?"

"Because it's spring."

"Not good enough."

"And the sun is shining."

"You have a real death wish, don't you?"

"All right." Hatake-san sighed, his eye somehow expressing his patient indulgence of Iruka's stupidity. "Perhaps this will satisfy you." He leaned forward slightly. "Because I wanted to."

"You wanted to." Iruka gaped. "What? That makes no sense!"

"You asked."

"'Because I wanted to' isn't an answer!"

"Technically, it is. However, I grant you that it might not be a _sufficient _answer, at least for you. But I don't see how that's my problem." Hatake-san's eye did the curving thing again.

Naruto tugged at Iruka's sleeve. "It's my fault, Iruka-sensei," he said, wincing. "Kakashi-bakasensei was trying to show me how to move faster. You know, fast enough so people don't see you when you hit them. Except, well, he kissed you."

"At velocity, it sounds." Naruto looked so forlorn and repentant that Iruka dropped his head in defeat and sighed. "You should have just let me know it was for training." He glanced at Hatake-san. "Just don't do it again." He had a sudden alarming vision of Hatake-san 'training' Naruto using other innocent victims – most likely young women, given Hatake-san's obsession with Jiraiya-san's books – and hastened to add, "To anyone."

"All right," Hatake-san agreed. "I'll use a kunai the next time."

"_No next times_, not with kissing or kunai or anything else."

"But Iruka-sensei," Naruto whinged. "How am I gonna learn how to move fast if he can't show me?"

"Run laps around the village," Iruka advised. "As fast as you can. Then go faster."

Hatake-san sighed, the pleasant arc disappearing. "It appears your sensei is indifferent to your survival as a Konoha shinobi, Naruto."

Iruka could feel the vein in his forehead begin to throb again. "Of course I care about Naruto's survival. I just don't see why innocent people should be targeted by your misbegotten attempts to train him."

"Well, we can hardly use a tree or a post," Hatake-san demurred. "They don't move."

"Then use another jounin, for pity's sake! Gai-san would be happy to help, I'm sure."

Both Naruto and Hatake-san shuddered. "No, not Gai," Hatake-san said.

"Yeah. What he said," Naruto agreed.

"Then use your nin-hounds for all I care. Just don't assault innocent bystanders!"

"Pakkun might be okay," Naruto said hesitantly, a considering look on his face.

"I don't want you corrupting my Ninken. They're bad enough already." Hatake-san shook his head. "Honestly, Iruka-sensei, I don't see that there's any logical solution to Naruto's training problem other than the targeted use of unsuspecting third parties."

"There's no logic to your logic, you arrogant jerk," Iruka muttered under his breath. Speaking at a more normal volume, he added, "Look, you can't just go around assaulting people—"

"—Kissing people—"

"-_Assaulting_ people," Iruka glared, "in the name of training."

Hatake-san frowned. "It seems to me that you've dismissed all of our other options."

"You're the one doing the dismissing—"

"I have an idea," Hatake-san interrupted.

Iruka waited. "Well?" he prompted after a few moments of silence.

Hatake-san shrugged. "That's all. I wanted to inform you that I have an idea."

"Gah!" Iruka pulled his hair. "Do you mind sharing that idea with Naruto and me?"

"Oh." Hatake-san blinked. "Well, if you insist."

"I insist."

Hatake-san did his one-eye curving arc thing again. "It seems to me that the only reasonable solution to this dilemma is that one person should be designated as the training subject, thereby eliminating all other non-combatants as possibilities."

"And who does the designating?"

"Aw, come on, Iruka-sensei," Naruto begged. "Please? I promise not to make you fall down again."

"You're not _kissing _me as part of your training, Naruto!"

Naruto had the gall to look relieved. "Then it shouldn't be all that bad, right? I could just, um, sort of 'tag' you, instead. Okay?"

Iruka frowned. Ridiculous as Hatake-san's proposal was, it would be better to allow himself to be subjected to being tagged rather than subject some other poor soul to it, he supposed. At least he'd be prepared, now that he was aware of their crazy plan. "All right. But no more blood. Or sore heads or arses, got it? No more making me fall down, or injuring me or assaulting me in any way. Just a simple tag, that's all."

Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, okay, I'm okay with that."

Hatake-san beamed. "Thank you for consenting to be our training dummy, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka was pretty sure he was in serious danger of having a stroke at any moment, given all of the justified anger he was actively suppressing. "Fine." He jumped as something pressed against his lips. "What the-?"

Hatake-san smiled innocently. "Did you see how I did that, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head. "Show me again."

"No!" Iruka squawked as something touched his lips again.

"Open mouth that time, eh, sensei?" Hatake-san looked like he was rooted – well, slouched, actually – in the same place he'd been standing. The bastard moved too damned fast. "I can work with that."

"I still didn't see!" Naruto protested.

Iruka buried his face in his hands, only to feel something touch his ear squarely on the spot that was hard-wired to his libido. He felt a tingle shiver through his body and moaned. "Not in public," he mumbled into his palms. "Spare me that at least, please, Hatake-san?"

"Call me Kakashi-san."

Iruka nodded and dropped his hands, jaw set in a grim line. He'd endure the humiliation, for now. Until he could figure out a way to make Hatake – _Kakashi_-san – pay. "Fine. Kakashi-san."

"I'll go slower this time," Kakashi-san told Naruto. "Watch closely."

Something pressed against Iruka's lips; this time he caught a glimpse of Kakashi-san's face, and tasted a hint of green tea on the other man's breath. An instant later, Kakashi-san was slouched five feet away, wearing his curved-eye smile.

Iruka touched his lips and searched Kakashi-san's face. The kiss had been soft. Not just a lip 'tag', either. Realization dawned.

_So that's how the great Sharingan Kakashi flirts._

Iruka felt a smirk forming. He abruptly turned and began heading toward the market.

"Where are you going, Iruka-sensei?"

"You wanted a moving target, didn't you?" Iruka replied to Naruto's question. But it was Kakashi he looked at, giving him a wicked grin. He was gratified to see Kakashi's eye widen and a predatory look cross his masked face. Iruka allowed Kakashi to see his smirk, then leapt to a nearby roof. "Catch me if you can," he called over his shoulder.

Pushing chakra into his legs, he sprang to the next roof and began to run full-out, leaping from building to building, confident that Kakashi wouldn't be far behind.

Iruka figured he'd give Kakashi a good race. No use making it easy for him. Besides, Naruto needed the training. After all, he was going to be Hokage some day.

Even if it meant that Iruka was forced to endure kisses from Hatake Kakashi for the rest of his life.

_fin_


End file.
